So much has happened in the sixteen months since mom died. In some ways our lives have changed a great deal and in others they have stayed the same. This biggest change came in the form of this little guy.
In February we welcomed our son into the world. His arrival was the beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. Three years ago my husband and I underwent IVF treatments in hopes of starting a family after all the testing we ended up with one viable embryo. Due to life changes we had to put off the transfer. Finally after a long two year wait we started the processes in June. It was a tense time. This was our one and only shot at having a child together and we were supremely lucky that it succeeded. Our beautiful little boy was born six days before the anniversary of his grandmother’s death. My sister flew out to be with me and we passed the day loving on her newest grandson which is exactly what she would have wanted.
Another big change having a new baby has caused is a desire to get fit. Before I know it this little guy is going to be running all over the place and I need to be able to keep up so I have started my weight loss journey. I have found several supportive groups on Facebook. I have a list of different exercises I really enjoy, one of them being running, and have started making dietary changes. Out with the bad and in with the good. So far things have gone really well and I’m hoping to keep the momentum up! I’m hoping this blog will help me with that. Accountability is important even if it’s only to myself.
February 23 is the day my mother passed from this life. It was and wasn’t unexpected, we knew were were losing her we just didn’t know she would go so suddenly. The time between her death and and coming home had some mind blowing moments.
My mother wasn’t a very good mother. She did the best she knew how but she made many mistakes with us, I have two half sisters and a half brother by my mother. She sent my sisters and brother back to live with their father when I was two so I don’t have any memories of them. She redeemed herself as a grandmother, she was an amazing one and not one of her grandchildren were left without a deep love for her and knowing how much she loved them.
On February 29th I had a bitter sweet birthday, yep I’m a leap year baby and it was my 9th birthday, it was the first birthday that I remember having all my siblings with me and it was the first birthday without my mother. What a roller coaster of a day!
March 1st is when we laid mom to rest. For me it was a relief, I was finally out of limbo and I felt I could start healing and moving on. A few people showed up and it was nice to visit with everyone and swap stories. No one mentioning the many, many years of drinking that ultimately caused her death. Although we had eight more years with her after she quit the damage was done.
March 2nd I come full circle. In the morning I went to my parents home and picked up the belongings that were deemed mine. I said my good byes to my family and headed back to the farm. Did I mention I was staying on my in-laws farm? It was the perfect place for me during this time.
I stopped to check on an ewe that was in labor and after watching her for several minutes I decided she might be in trouble so I went to get my father and brother in law. After a call to a friend it was determined that we would have to pull the lambs. The poor beastie had twins tangled. Long story short I helped in the delivery the two little lambs.
What a wonderful way to end such a sad trip by bringing life into the world. What a powerful reminder that life goes on.
Here I am, doing something I never thought I would do but it must start somewhere. Blogging is a foreign and somewhat terrifying task. My brain seems to freeze up and I find I’m at a complete loss of what to type so lets go on a rambling journey about my passion. Maybe that will help me loosen up.
I love crochet! It has become my passion and it fills a large part of my free time. I first learned when I was around thirteen years old but I didn’t fall in love with the craft until a few years ago when I quit smoking. Sure I knew the basics but trying to fill the long, grueling minutes, hours and then days of nicotine withdrawal I rediscovered crochet and it was heaven!
My first projects were far from, well to be honest, good. I knew the absolute basics and that was it. It wasn’t enough to keep my hands and mind engaged and after making my husband a blanket, which he still loves and treasures, I needed more. I bought a simple pattern book, yarn and taught myself to read patterns. I was so proud of that first big project! It was a blanket for my niece and it’s still going strong today almost four years later.
That is where it started. Looking at that blanket now and seeing all the mistakes I still love it warts and all.